This past weekend i had drill for the the Army, honestly it was really hard going to this week because I didn't go last month. It's always hard going because i really don't like the organization of the Army for a lot of reasons! However working with people is different ands not so bad. This particular drill was fairly memorable as it replicated a lot of the humdrum of deployment. All we did this weekend was our job along with the little issues that normally accompany missions. I really have a love hate relationship w/ the Army. I dislike the organization because of the way it functions sometimes but like working with the people. This past weekend I was asked a couple times if i would commission as a Chaplain soon. Honestly, I don't know. I have 4 more years on my contract and I'll have been in 12 yrs. So part of me is wondering whether not i should stay for retirement. The other part of me is thinking 1) I can't take this anymore 2) Am I choosing to do the Army because of the financial security it offers so i don't have to worry about God providing for my needs?
Some of what plays into this is my decision to hopefully stay on another year at Christian Challenge. This decision also involves me needing to raise support. The past year I've been losing money working at Challenge. It doesn't pay much and between Christian Challenge, Seminary, Army, and other obligations I don't have the time to get a normal job. There have been other opportunities for employment but each would take me away from the ministry God has given me.
So to prepare for this new phase of life and growth in my relationship with the Lord, I'm going to start support raising. This is really hard for me to relinquish to God and isn't something I've ever depended on the Lord for, which is financial provision. I've been given opportunities to see God provide this way but never saw any of those opportunities out. I would always try and step in eliminating my need to rest confidently in the sovereignty of God's provision. Not only did i miss out on the opportunity, I also ended up always seeing the shortcomings that result when I rely on my strength rather than the abundance of the Lord whom I serve. So please keep me in prayer to navigate this whole process and not succumb to the lack of distrust I have for God by accepting jobs being offered to me but do not conform to the call God has placed on my life.
Some of what plays into this is my decision to hopefully stay on another year at Christian Challenge. This decision also involves me needing to raise support. The past year I've been losing money working at Challenge. It doesn't pay much and between Christian Challenge, Seminary, Army, and other obligations I don't have the time to get a normal job. There have been other opportunities for employment but each would take me away from the ministry God has given me.
So to prepare for this new phase of life and growth in my relationship with the Lord, I'm going to start support raising. This is really hard for me to relinquish to God and isn't something I've ever depended on the Lord for, which is financial provision. I've been given opportunities to see God provide this way but never saw any of those opportunities out. I would always try and step in eliminating my need to rest confidently in the sovereignty of God's provision. Not only did i miss out on the opportunity, I also ended up always seeing the shortcomings that result when I rely on my strength rather than the abundance of the Lord whom I serve. So please keep me in prayer to navigate this whole process and not succumb to the lack of distrust I have for God by accepting jobs being offered to me but do not conform to the call God has placed on my life.
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